Articles
Be a Force that Enlivens Others
February 13, 2013 (Number 42) I attended a talk recently where the speaker was so flat and deenergizing that people were discretely getting up and exiting out the back door. For my part, no amount of caffeine could seem to keep me reasonably awake.That's a rather pronounced situation, but have you experienced milder versions of this in private discussions with certain colleagues? Perhaps you've actually noticed, as I have, quite a range in others. Some people are so energized and upbeat that they always lift my mood in a conversation. At the other end of the spectrum, some individuals are so constrained and monotone that they're almost painful to listen to.
Where do you think you fall on that continuum?
One of my prior articles addressed the need to soothe — i.e., regulate — colleagues' energy levels when they're elevated to a point of tension and irritability. This down-regulation is crucial. At other times, though, your task is to activate and increase the energy of others. This up-regulation generates passion, enthusiasm and excitement — and attracts people to you.
To nurture this skill, consider the following:
- Increasing and varying the volume, tonality and pacing of your speech will all make you more energizing. But of greater importance is recognizing, and releasing, your inner barriers against speaking more openly and vibrantly. So ask yourself, "How do I restrain myself from voicing my passion?" If you look closely enough, you'll almost certainly find overblown fears and related bodily contractions that are boxing you in.
- As you begin to vocalize more of the dynamism surging within you, protect yourself and others from any judgments, blame or other negativity that may want to spill out, too. This will require you to skillfully transform your negative states into positive ones. My book will show you how.
- Also beware of being "too much." Specifically, don't bring in so much energy that it's clearly out of sync with others and therefore likely to be irritating. Instead, exhibit an energy level that is moderately greater than that of those around you. Then your passion will be a force of magnetic attraction, continuously exerting an upward pull on them.
Dean Herman
