Articles
Give – and Be More Powerful
December 8, 2011 (Number 28) I recently worked with a CEO who was not particularly happy about several members of his staff. (As always, I obtained permission to share his story here and altered some facts to safeguard my client's identity.) "They're smart and effective," he said, "but I wonder how much they're invested. I mean, are they willing to go all out? I know they care, but do they really care?""Well," I asked, "do you really care about them?"
He referred to all the money and stock he provided them but, as I said, that's not what I meant. "Am I supposed to babysit them?," he asked.
I persisted, "Why should they care so much about you and your company if they feel you don't truly care about them?"
The question made this rather gruff and contentious CEO pause for a moment. He soon came to recognize that when he'd worked for bosses who hadn't seemed to actually care about him, he had secretly chosen not to care about them, either — or their businesses. His efforts in those cases were purely self-interested.
"Is that the kind of engagement you want from your staff?," I asked.
Ultimately, I was able to persuade him to try some experiments in emotional generosity. And as he began to change, a most interesting thing happened: His people started to change as well, often dramatically. As one of them told me a year later, "Now, we'd walk off a cliff for him."
Consider trying for yourself some of the emotionally generous practices this CEO adopted:
- Show you truly care about your staff's opinions by frequently asking, "What do you think we ought to do?" Don't make this a "test" of your people, but a reflection of your genuine interest.
- Regularly acknowledge the unique gifts you see in each of your team members — and thereby fill what is likely a deep hunger within them. This article provides the necessary instructions.
- Overall, show as much interest in your people and their careers as you do in your business. They will notice — and likely become intensely committed to you.
This holiday season, consider giving the gift of greater personal power. My book will fundamentally shift how your family, friends and colleagues see others, themselves and their actions — so that they can adjust how they "show up" and elicit the responses they need. "Quite literally the most important book I've read in the last 20 years." — Amazon reviewer.
Happy Holidays,
Dean Herman
