Articles
Interrupt or Suffer Helplessly
March 14, 2012 (Number 31) You may have noticed that in the most powerful conversations, you don't need to wade through a sea of words in order to understand what the other person is saying. Yet, have you also noticed that such discussions are rare — and that your colleagues at work often go into tiresome details and tangents that do not serve the true purposes of the interaction?What do you do in these cases? Do you sit by helplessly, increasingly bored and antsy, just waiting for the conversation to end?
You're not alone. I've found that even many otherwise powerful CEO's seem unnecessarily afraid of interrupting. We've been trained to think it's rude and we worry it will harm our relationships. But used effectively, interrupting actually maximizes engagement and preserves and builds connections. In such cases, you're not so much "cutting off" your colleague. Rather, you're stepping in to constructively redirect the flow of the conversation.
Here's the how-to's for effective, relationship-building interruptions:
- Be exquisitely self-aware so that you immediately notice when you're getting bored and are beginning to tune out. That's your signal to take action.
- Ask permission ("May I interrupt?") or simply say, "Let me jump in." Next, briefly summarize what you've heard thus far. That will cushion the impact of your interruption and assure your conversation partner she's been heard.
- Then state that you have an idea for ensuring the dialogue best serves that person and the purpose of your discussion. You might then ask, "Do you want to hear what I'm thinking?" Almost everyone will say "yes."
- Finally, provide your input for a more useful direction in the conversation. For example, "You're giving me a bit more detail that I need right now. What I really want to hear is your recommendation." Or, "I think it would be most helpful if we focused on your two or three key findings. Would you be okay with that?"
Dean Herman
