Articles

The Most Effective Leaders Are the Most Caring

December 6, 2017 (Number 73) I recently spoke with an executive who was very much "down to business."  He didn't seem particularly personable.  In fact, when I naturally smiled at him upon our initial meeting, he looked back at me blankly with the slightest tinge of impatience.

So I wasn't surprised when he later complained to me that his team was only moderately engaged.

"Could it be they might need a bit more from you on a personal level?," I ventured.  He seemed annoyed with the suggestion.  "I assume," he frowned, "they can do their jobs if I give them the appropriate direction."

This leader's very common problem was his apparent belief that people are primarily driven by logic rather than emotion.  Tell them what to do and why they should do it, so the thinking goes, and they should be well-engaged.

But the psychological and neurobiological research on human behavior is quite to the contrary.

Don't take my word for it.  Do a little "research" yourself – and think of the best boss you ever had.  What made this boss so good?  Was it just being clear about your responsibilities?  Or did you (also) feel this manager truly cared about you?

Now think of the worst boss you ever had.  In contrast to your "best boss," how much was this person concerned about your personal welfare?

Next ask yourself, "Which of the two was I most willing to work hard for?”

The point is elementary, but often disregarded: When people believe you are truly concerned about them and looking out for their interests, they will much more want to support you.  Feeling cared about also regulates people's nervous systems so that they can still be highly productive and creative under great stress.

So why wouldn't you show genuine caring for your people?  The usual objection is, "I just don't have time."  But how long does it take to look someone in the eye and sincerely ask, "How are you doing?"  Or to ask, "What do you need from me?"

You don't absolutely need to make these changes.  But for how long do you want to be interpersonally hobbled?  Rather than living within the confines of your current limitations, you can experience the exhilaration of being free from them.

Dean Herman, Ph.D.