Articles
The Selfish Case for Kindness
December 5, 2012 (Number 40) At a recent holiday party, I met a fellow tenant in my office building. During our brief conversation, she revealed that she suffered from distressing and unremitting back pain. "Oh, wow," I said, "that must be difficult for you." Sensing her quiet need for some assistance, I added, "I know a doctor who has an 88% success rate treating such cases, based purely on educating his patients. Would you like to borrow my copy of his book?" She happily agreed.When I handed her the book the next day, her reaction surprised me. "Oh my God," she exclaimed, "you really care!" I was a bit saddened in realizing she didn't often experience such basic acts of kindness. And yet, I also felt a peace and contentment that I could give her something that might relieve her distress. Overall, I felt more connected — including with myself and my values.
Feeling more rooted, I noticed, made me more effective in my business and marketing efforts in the hours and even days that followed.
Do you think there might be people you encounter who could benefit from an act or two of kindness on your part? Even if your only motivation is benefitting yourself, there are several reasons to be kind:
- Your benevolence signals to others that rather than being overly self-focused, you care about people. So you'll be seen as inherently more trustworthy. And success in business is all about trust. Perhaps you've noticed that it's the generous leaders who tend to have many supporters — and who therefore often enjoy quicker career progress.
- Being kind raises your self-esteem. That's because acts of kindness put you in integrity with your implicit values — a crucial ingredient for self-worth. This greater confidence, in turn, yields greater success.
- Finally, when people feel you've generously given to them, they naturally want to give back to you.
Dean Herman
