Articles

The Tragedy of All Your Unnecessary Efforts

October 16, 2012 (Number 38) I consulted to a CEO several years ago who made no secret of his ambitions.  "I don't want this company to be a $100 million enterprise tomorrow, Dean," he said as he leaned across the table toward me, his neck muscles visibly bulging.  "I want this to be a $100 million company today!"

Not long after that, he hobbled into one of our meetings, suffering from an injury sustained in a "friendly" soccer match.  Incensed that his team was losing, he had resorted to desperate measures in an effort to win.  Perhaps you'll agree that this gentleman was a bit hypercompetitive and had "something to prove."  Specifically, I found, he was trying to prove his value.

But his approach was causing him to frequently feel tense and irritable.  More importantly, the narrowness of his outlook was subverting his innovativeness and creativity — and his relationships.

Tragically, this leader was failing to recognize that because his sense of his value was internally determined, no amount of external achievement could impact it.  As he grasped this and more clearly observed his self-limiting patterns, he increasingly gained freedom from them.

Perhaps this CEO was a little extreme, but might you have something similar going on?  To what extent are you cognizant of your inherent value — the value that nearly anyone who saw you as a newborn could immediately recognize?

To gain your greater freedom, consider these tips:

• With absolute honesty, assess your dependency on others for validation of your talents and overall worth.  Can you see how fearful, tense and powerless that makes you feel?

• Challenge your concerns about changing and "getting lazy."  There is a profound difference between, on one hand, desperately trying to prove your value and, on the other hand, knowing your worth and giving yourself over to the natural and inherent need to express it — and make your contributions.

• For more solutions, get the free download of Chapter 4 of my book here.

If you were on a ship in rough seas, who would you rather have as your captain?  One who is steadfastly self-confident or one who is preoccupied with a rather frantic need to prove himself?  Your own ship needs that inner steadiness.  When you remember your value, you come back into your power.


Dean Herman