Articles

Want More Presence?

May 18, 2010 (Number 9) I had a conversation the other day with a business leader that made a deep impression on me.  By the steadiness of his gaze, by his warm and calm vocal tone and by the palpable sense of energy he was emitting, I could tell that nothing was distracting him from complete immersion in our interaction.  He was 100% with me.

His being so present naturally magnetized my greater presence as well.  We were co-creating a quietly energized focus between us that was both relaxing and exhilarating.  Not surprisingly, the conversation turned out to be extraordinarily productive. 

Perhaps you have had the good fortune to interact with such people yourself.  But do you remember other instances where your colleague was so preoccupied with his own thoughts and feelings that he could barely be right there with you?

Which of the two types of experiences do you think you're providing to others?  Which will most enhance your effectiveness?  If you're ready to move into a stronger and deeper presence, try these approaches:

• Make it a habit to calmly observe the thoughts and emotions swirling within you.  If you're like most people, you'll find that you have quite a circus going on inside your head.  Don't try to stop it; just observe it.  Most importantly, practice not getting sucked into these distractions.  Don't let them take you over.  Instead, stay open and curious.

• Regularly reflect on your interactions — particularly those that didn't go so well.  Which of your thoughts and feelings were pulling you away from the conversation?  Question whether you might have done better if you'd set them aside and stayed more present.

• Periodically make an effort to feel your arms and legs, both when you're alone and when you're in conversations.  This will relax you and bring you into the immediate moment  Try doing this while being attentive to others.  Then observe the magnetizing effect that has on those around you.

When you come home to yourself and are more present, you will feel more solid — and be like a mountain for other people.  And that will naturally deepen your power.

Dean Herman