Articles
When the Dalai Lama Got Angry
April 17, 2013 (Number 44) It's hard to imagine the ever-patient, ever-kindly Dalai Lama, the exiled spiritual leader of Tibet, in a fit of anger. Yet, in his earlier years, the Nobel Peace Prize winner struggled with bouts of temper. In his hobby of fixing (or trying to fix) his friends' watches, he would sometimes get so frustrated that he'd seize the watch he was working on and smash it down on the table beside him.Needless to say, the Dalai Lama has grown since those days. Brain scientists understand much of that change as due to neuroplasticity — the tendency of the brain to literally reshape itself based on lived experience and practice. As the Dalai Lama diligently practiced being patient and kind rather than frustrated and reactive, his brain pathways for anger withered. Meanwhile, his neural connections for composure and thoughtfulness multiplied.
Perhaps, like the Dalai Lama, you've noticed your own emotional eruptions at times. Maybe they've involved anger — or fear or feelings of inadequacy. Might these emotions be having any impact on your success — and how much people are willing to trust you?
If you'd like more freedom from your reactivity, and a brain to support that, consider these tips:
- Maintain a vigilant outlook so that you're aware the moment a negative emotion starts taking over your thoughts and actions. At such times, acknowledge to yourself with utter honesty what's happening. E.g., "Wow, I'm about to let my anger take control of me."
- Next, rather than allowing the emotion to govern your thinking (by flooding you, for example, with fearful or angry thoughts), summon all your strength to divert your attention to the emotion's impact on your breathing or bodily sensations. Observe the emotion just as you might watch a brief summer thunderstorm.
- After the storm passes, take stock. If you succumbed to the emotion, note the conditions so that you can better protect yourself next time. And if you were able to maintain control, congratulate yourself. You just weakened the emotional circuit in your brain. Next time, your task will be that much easier.
Dean Herman
