Articles
Your Addiction to False Power
July 17, 2012 (Number 35) Those of you who read my book may remember the story of the CEO I visited whose office displayed a giant photo of a boxing match. Muhammad Ali was glaring, his biceps glistening with sweat, while he stood over Sonny Liston, whom he had just knocked out.It was an apt representation of this CEO's style of leadership.
But this executive's domineering approach hadn't been working so well for him recently. He complained to me that his people were not performing as he expected. He'd responded by becoming even more vociferous in his demands. But then his organization's performance had declined even further.
This leader had failed to grasp a basic human principle: Force activates submission — or resistance. The resistance is predictable because many people feel diminished by submitting to others' control. They'd rather risk a conflict than endure a loss of their own dignity. And to minimize the danger, they usually keep their resistance carefully hidden.
So this CEO now had a staff that was partly disempowered and meekly submitting — and that was partly fighting an underground war. Is it any surprise his business was floundering?
Might you be similarly generating unfavorable consequences in your more impatient and forceful moments? Consider, then, these tips:
- Notice what happens when you begin to feel frustrated with people. Do you ever react in ways that may feel gratifying in the moment, but which are not likely to be well-received? For example, do you start impatiently voicing demands and even subtle threats? How might you feel and react if someone treated you in this manner? Reflect on how these exercises of false power actually undermine your effectiveness.
- Consider alternative ways of conducting yourself that will much more likely get you what you want — while preserving and building your relationships. My prior articles provide ample tools and strategies, as does my book.
Dean Herman
